Someone recently asked me if I ever have bad days. I thought it was a ridiculous question.
“Of course I have bad days,” I responded. “Everyone has bad days.”
She shrugged her shoulders and said, “I don’t know you just seem happy all the time, and you’re always going interesting places or doing cool things. Just doesn’t seem like you ever have a bad day.”
This is preposterous. I’ll share some thoughts on it in just a bit, but today has actually not been a very good day, so I want to take a minute and tell you about it.
Today has been a bad day. I slept through my alarm and woke up an hour later than intended, which instantly put me behind on my schedule and feeling like a failure. I went to the gym, not because I wanted to or because I thought it would be mentally relaxing, but because I felt like I had to because I didn’t eat healthy enough the previous day, according to the absurd standards I had internally set for myself.
I didn’t have a good workout, probably due to the fact that I didn’t want to be there or just because it’s one of those days where you just don’t seem to have any natural energy. This added to that whole “feeling like a failure” thing.
I came home and tried to get some work done. Mondays are [typically] my most productive days. I [usually] love Mondays. The entire week lies ahead, full of potential for productivity and growth and new ideas and adventures, but not this Monday. This Monday I struggled to get anything done. Part of this could be attributed to the fact that I have multiple projects going on at the same time, so it makes it difficult to fully focus on one without feeling like am neglecting another. Or it could be because my Nana, with whom I am very close (you may remember I blogged about our road trip to Disney World in the fall), was diagnosed with cancer last week, and all I actually want to do right now is spend time with her and plan our trip to see the Northern Lights like she has always dreamed.
So no, today has not been a good day. It has been bad. Not for any one reason in particular, not just super, ultra-horrifyingly awful – just bad.
But as Judith Viorst says in my favorite children’s book of all time, “It was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. Some days are like that.”
Tomorrow might be better. Or it might not. We all have days that are better or worse than others. I think what helps me on the bad days is gratitude. To remember all the things I have to be thankful for.
Yes, I overslept, but I didn’t have any important meetings this morning, and I got to wake up to pursue a career that I love.
Yes, I had a had a poor workout, but I have a body that is capable of running all the miles I please, and most days those runs serve as a calming mental break.
Yes, I felt overwhelmed and anxious, but I have projects that clients have hired me to do because they believe in this little company of mine.
Yes, my Nana has cancer. That’s the hardest one to write.
But she’s still here, and we’ve still got time to go see the Northern Lights.
Yes, it’s been a bad day, but I have so much to be grateful for. And I’m pretty sure you do too if you stop and think about it.
So let’s just call it what it is. It’s a bad day. I feel defeated, overwhelmed and a little frustrated at the lack of control I have over external circumstances. I am not traveling the world or climbing a mountain or playing in snow or running a marathon. I am just sitting at my desk trying to work on four projects at the same time, and it's not happening.
It’s just a bad day. Not a bad year or a bad month or even a bad week. Just a bad day. And I’m writing about it, so that amidst the exhilarating highlights of my Instagram feed, you will know that bad days happen sometimes too. To all of us. Probably even Beyonce`.
And that’s totally ok.